halloween art

There's been a lot of artwork and Halloween decorating going on over here. I pick j up from the bus and he only seems to want to color, cut, and tape until dinner... and then again after dinner... so our windows are getting quite full. Since I love Halloween, I've been more than happy to help him cut out pumpkins and spiders, find Halloween coloring pages online, and then tape them to the windows. He's pretty heavy on the tape. Soon we won't be able to see out of the windows.


Still not sure what j will be for Halloween this year. He's grown out of the spider costume that he wore for three years in a row (2009, 2008, 2007). In 2006 he was Charlie Brown. He did get a doctor's outfit for his birthday, complete with scrubs, white coat, and real (!) stethoscope, so we may just go with that unless he has another idea. I don't get the sense he cares much, but that may change in the next few weeks.

baby sprinkle

We're pretty much ready, I think. This is j giving me one of his fake smiles in his old bedroom. It's now the baby room--decked out in the typical gender-neutral colors of green and yellow and all sorts of multi-color things that were j's when he was a baby. He's also been taping artwork he's been making for the baby to the wall.

On Saturday I was supposed to go across the street to my friend K's for a rowing meeting during which we were going to discuss staying in shape for next year, putting together groups for boats, that kind of thing. Instead, I showed up to a surprise baby shower, which was a lot of fun. I got more green and yellow clothes, some blue, and a lone pair of pink pajamas from a neighbor whose six-year-old daughter seems to be hoping for a girl. (I informed her I was not picky and had no problem using it if this next one is a boy, regardless of the pink ruffle on the butt.)

It was nice to have an afternoon with the rowing ladies, whom I haven't seen together in a while since I've been off the water for a couple months. K made an adorable cake shaped like a baby, writing "Baby Stowie" on the side. ("Stowie"--from "The Stowaway"--is their nickname for this baby since he/she rowed with me for most of my pregnancy.) It was a nice, relatively quiet afternoon with about 15 of us. K says that for a first baby, you have a baby shower. For a second, it's more like a sprinkle.

baby on the way

So now that I'm at 37 weeks, it's an ultrasound and a midwife check-up every week until I deliver this baby. I guess I don't mind it so much; it would just be easier if I didn't have to drive an hour each way to get to them. I've been doing this drive for so many months because these midwives are my best shot at a VBAC, so it's discouraging to even hear talk of a C-section... however, with the gestational diabetes, they've scheduled a C-section for 41 weeks just in case. The date for that would be November 2--election day--so P and I are applying for absentee ballots just in case. In fact, I insisted on it. I am hoping beyond hope that I can do a trial of labor before that date... and something about being really prepared in case of a C-section makes my mind think that maybe it won't happen.

I have some reason to be hopeful. The diabetes is under control, and the ultrasounds have all looked great in terms of fluid levels. Next week we'll get another growth scan to see how big the baby is (the primary concern with gestational diabetes is that the baby will grow too big). The midwives don't see any reason why I shouldn't be able to have a good shot at a VBAC, and about 70% of women who attempt it are successful. I am trying to be optimistic, but also realistic, knowing that anything can happen.

One exciting thing was that I got a few shots of the baby's face via 3D ultraound, which I didn't get with j (clicking on the picture will make it a little larger). This new baby actually looks like j, which is crazy. He or she also looks pretty developed to me. Now that I'm full-term, he/she can come out whenever he/she wishes! (Preferably before November 2, ok, baby?) :)

soccer and sunday

j has started soccer with the club in town--the “KinderKickers” program. I think he’s doing ok, but I’m only hearing this from P. Most activities done with j are better with one parent, and P is on soccer-duty. I hope that j will get into the soccer groove enough that he doesn’t notice my coming, hanging out, and hopefully meeting some more parents. I just think it will take a little while. He got a little annoyed at Saturday’s practice when another kid was trying to kick the ball away from him. I mean, the nerve! :)

Today was a nice Sunday. We spent the morning at home just hanging out, which I don’t think we’ve done as a family for about a month. We basically finished the organization of the baby room, so we’re ready if he/she makes an early appearance. I would prefer this, of course, because if I go to 41 weeks I will have to have a scheduled C-section, so we’re going to start some "natural" induction techniques starting at around 37 weeks (considered full-term).

This afternoon we headed to a birthday party in the village--a friend of j’s from gymnastics class who was turning 5. We all had a great time. The party was in the parking lot of a local restaurant owned by the birthday boy’s grandparents, which we liked more than the other ones we’ve been to--at Chuck E. Cheese, McD’s, or some of the other party-places around here. There was a bouncy house outside, but it felt more casual. (At one party j went to this year at a party-place, we were all unceremoniously ushered out as soon as the one-and-a-half hour mark hit.) Today, Buzz Lightyear made an appearance (ok, a guy dressed up as Buzz Lightyear). We tried to get j to go over to him so I could get a picture, but j told us “He’s not *really* Buzz Lightyear.” Which was true: Tim Allen did not actually attend this party. But the kids all seemed to have a good time and P and I did as well.

Then we drove to the city, where I had chorus rehearsal (this baby inside likes to move when it hears singing, which is fun) and P and j visited a friend of P’s for the rest of the afternoon. Good times.

j still seems to be doing well at school; we went to his Back-to-School night this week. Reading is a strength for him, and having a strength is a good thing when other issues pop up (like chewing on every crayon, pencil, and eraser in your desk, for example). I’m just happy that he seems to be happy there for the most part.

fall changes

Lots of changes going on around here. The summer was swamped with home-improvement projects, including getting j's room done and the baby room completed. We still have a bit more to do, but I'm feeling much better since we were able to throw out and give away a lot of clutter.

j began kindergarten last week; I can't quite believe it. He seems to be doing well and enjoying it, though the first day he had a meltdown getting *off* the bus, when he demanded that he stay on the bus and in school forever.

It's hard to tell, but we think he's been doing fine in the class. Apparently there's a system displayed in his classroom where each student has either a green, yellow, or red card to indicate the quality of his/her behavior. j informed me that "Green means you're good, yellow means you're kinda good, and red means they call the police." I assured him that his teacher probably wouldn't call the police, which he initially refuted, but the next day he told me that no, "they" would just call mama and daddy if he got a red card. He claims, however, to have been "green all week," which means today at school he gets a prize.

I'm still pregnant. 33-34 weeks, though I haven't been keeping track of everything as assiduously as I did last time. As I did with my pregnancy with j, I've developed gestational diabetes, though I do think that rowing so much--until 6 months pregnant--kept it at bay for a while. I was negative for GD at 20 weeks, but borderline at 28 weeks. So now I get to once again track my food, pee in a cup every morning, and check my blood sugar four times a day. It seems harder to control this time so I'm trying to monitor it closely. The midwives I'm with have been pretty good about working with me on it. I'll have another ultrasound next week to check on the baby. Since I haven't had one in three months, it's not a bad idea, though I'm trying to keep the interventions to a minimum so I don't get labeled as a high-risk pregnancy.

I'm not teaching this semester until the baby arrives, which gives me time to monitor all this crap (fun!), but also time to do some writing. I'm working on trying to finally get some things published, so we'll see how that goes.

big boy room

The big boy room is almost done. Here is the closet, which will never again look this clean, I am sure.

I put labels on his drawers on a whim, but now that he's recognizing and reading words, he seemed pretty excited by it. He likes to read off the labels to me. He did get a little upset that I initially decided to place his bathing suits on the top shelves, so we worked on an additional "bathing suits" label and placed them in a drawer, too.

j has been sleeping in the new room for about 5-6 nights, and we haven't had any problems so far. He likes having the space, I think, and hasn't expressed any desire to go back to the other room. Now on to cleaning up that room--future baby room--which has become a mess of old j-things that I probably need to throw out, and a whole lot of bedding that we really don't use. P has been great about the many projects we've already accomplished, though there are many more to do in the upcoming months. Last weekend was the Memorial Day weekend, and we spent far too much of it organizing things around the house.

But not this weekend. P and I are headed to San Francisco and the Sonoma Valley to attend the wedding of a good old friend. Since the trip was so expensive, it's also sort of serving as a tenth anniversary trip, too (we celebrate 10 years next month!). We're looking forward to the mini-vacation, despite my increased hatred of flying.

big brother

Yep! I’m about four months along now, and definitely have the baby bump, though depending on what I’m wearing, I can hide it.

j is, we think, pretty excited about a new brother or sister, though he’s talking a lot about how when he “was in mama’s belly” and pretty much every picture he draws now is a picture of me with a little j inside me. Most of these pictures show me as a big head with arms and legs coming out of it, and a little sack under my chin with a tiny version of the head-with-arms inside. The first time I saw a variation on this theme, I thought he had given me a penis until I noticed the little person inside.

We’re working on moving j to the bigger room to make room for the baby in his room. Initially he said he didn’t want to move. So in an effort to get him more involved with what will be a big transition, we told him he could pick the colors of the room. That got him excited. His preference? “Green, white, black, and brown.” Um, ok. So we’ve got some bright green walls for him, P is working on the trim, and he’ll have some black and brown furniture in there. I think the room will look fun, though it means reorganizing the entire house (office stuff goes downstairs, baby stuff goes in his old room, all things j go in the “big boy” room). It’s a process, but we thankfully have some time to work on it this summer.

I’m still rowing on the water about 2-3 times a week, which has been awesome. I’d like to add a few more workouts on the rowing machine each week, too. I’m more active this pregnancy than I was, and I’m going to try to keep it that way for many reasons, one of which being that I might be more likely to have a VBAC with this one. VBACs are very difficult to get around here since many doctors won’t do them, so I'm going to midwives who work with a doctor out of a hospital that’s known for being more natural-birth-friendly. Unfortunately, they are an hour away and in a different state. Driving that far for each checkup is a bit exhausting, but I’m trying to give myself the best chance for a VBAC. It’s pretty sad that I can’t find a closer practice to give me a realistic shot at it, but that’s a vent for a different day.

And now that the semester is over, I can finally blog again. I still have to work the first summer session, but it’s part time. And as of June 30, I will be free, free, free from administrative work for the foreseeable future. Hooray!

distractions

I'm enjoying the last few hours of my spring break. Last week I was at a conference all week and I think it's taken me this entire last week to recover. I should be getting through more of this never-ending email, but I'll post here for just a second...

All is well. j got his evaluations from school in preparation for his IEP meeting to determine services for next year, when he's in kindergarten (yikes!). The gist of these observations is not much of a surprise--he's on track "academically" but sometimes has a difficult time listening and interacting in social situations. There were many references (from different teachers) about his non-stop singing.

The award for best line in an evaluation goes to j's teacher M (who he's had now for two years):

j will sometimes answer a question with an unrelated statement. For example, when asked "What's the weather today?" j might respond "I can sing De Colores."

snow days, and more snow days

We have now had four snow days this February, which hasn't happened in the ten years I've been at my school. Snow days are great, but we're happy to get j back on his regular school schedule, especially since he had a week-long winter break, then three days of school, and then two snow days this past Thursday and Friday. We're longing for the routine.

Thursday was fun, with snow coming down in a reasonable amount. But Friday was crazy--we got something like 36 inches and we still cannot really move around our neighborhood. We can barely get out of our driveway. However, we did get to spend most of Friday outdoors, playing with the neighbors. After a snow-filled morning, the little girl across the street came over for hot chocolate, which turned into lunch. She and j had a good time eating PBJ sandwiches and cracking each other up with poop jokes.

P got a nice workout on Friday, pelting the neighborhood kids with snowballs for four hours. I think his arm was sore on Saturday. :)

cool blog

I think I may have posted about this woman's blogs before, but she has a new one--Happy Janssens, on which she chronicles her family's travels via veggie oil-powered RV (a new one this time). There's a neat video tour of the RV on it. I love the simplicity of it, as well as her beautiful photography.

tea tree tingle

I don't usually dedicate this space to reviewing products, but for years I've been looking for a great natural shampoo, and I think I've found it: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo. I've been using it for a few weeks. It's mostly peppermint with just a hint of tea tree; it smells great and refreshing. Like peppermint oil, it works wonders on a headache. (I actually carry a bottle of peppermint essential oil in my bag at all times for headache emergencies.) The other day I ran out of j's baby wash but had to wash his hair, so I used the Tea Tree Tingle. He got quiet as I scrubbed it into his scalp and looked up at me. "That feels reallllllly good!"

When I asked P to put some TTT on our Trader Joe's list, he admitted that he too had used it at least once, even though he has his own shampoo. P liking a scented bath product says a lot. I tossed two bottles in my cart when I stopped there after rehearsal.

I know it's just a shampoo, but it's made me unreasonably happy lately.

valentine's cards

Yesterday j and I worked on his "homework": Valentine's Day cards for both of his preschool classes. There were several side projects, like using the funny face stickers he got over the holidays (thanks, J!) and sticking letters on cards in order to spell names, then ripping off the letters to spell new names. After sounding out "L" and "N" quietly to himself for a few minutes, he asked if this spelled "Lauren": When I said that it was very close to "Lauren," but that it spelled "Lon," he got quite serious and ripped off the letters, a little frustrated but happy to try a new name with the letters he had left.

I don't know who Lauren is, though. She's not a classmate. Maybe a teacher from another class?

Anyway, after the Lauren attempt, he spent his energy on a card for d, one of the girls in his class. While he spent 20 minutes on her card--which featured both a heart and a monster with one eye--I worked on some more cards. Then we finished up our session by starting to decorate the living room windows.

mail

Today the final edition of our local paper came in the mail. I was so disappointed when I heard that the paper was closing, I wrote a letter to the editor, which was published today:

I am truly saddened to learn that the newspaper is closing. Thank you for all your work and dedication in providing accurate and thorough news, as well as insightful--and sometimes provocative--commentary.

When my husband and I moved here, we were thrilled to discover, upon arrival, that the local paper was thoughtful, comprehensive, and most importantly, widely read. One of the first conversations I had with a neighbor was about the significance of the paper. It has been a weekly source of joy for me, a place where I can keep up with what’s going on in my local community. Indeed, as we have only lived here for two years, the paper itself has helped develop for my family a sense of community. It will be sorely missed.

Though I’ve often wanted to, I’ve never written a letter to the editor before. It feels almost inappropriate that the first time I feel truly compelled to do so is when the paper is closing, as if it's a lesson for me to be more appreciative of all that I have.

The other thing I got in the mail today was a summons for jury duty. This is the first time I’ve ever been called to serve on a jury--is that unusual? Perhaps it’s because we’ve moved around so much? At any rate, I don’t mind, though I will probably still try to postpone until the summer when it won’t interrupt teaching.

It was snowing today and as a result (no bus) I had to pick j up from school. He’s had a few behavioral incidents in the past few weeks. His teacher explained this, and then, seeing what was likely a pained expression on my face, was quick to say that he’s been doing well for most of the day, just that some days are better than others. Today had a bright moment. According to her, when they began their daily yoga session, j insisted that he lead the class. And did. My son the yoga instructor. Nice.

"bad" words and acceptance

I've been having mixed feelings about telling j that some words are "bad." I told him "stupid" and "I don't care" were "bad words," which was very effective in getting him to stop saying them. However, he now enjoys telling other people when they have said a "bad word," and will doggedly pursue an apology for the offense.

The "bad word" policy was in response to my not wanting him to say certain things at school, such as "I'm gonna get your booty," or--as he did when looking at his princess-themed toothpaste (his choice) with especially busty princesses--"Mama, she has big bit-uhs" (bitte, his word for breast). I know these concerns about words are more about me than they are about j. When he says something indelicate, I imagine it taking place at school, where his teachers will wonder where he learned the expression. So P and I have emphasized the "bad words," rather than explain a whole lot about them. I certainly don't want to forbid him from saying "breasts," and sometimes one needs the word "stupid." He's just not ready yet to understand that some words that are ok in certain contexts. But I'll keep working on it.

Today we went to the playground where j played with a boy a little bit younger (d); we hadn't met before. they were playing with little sticks on a patch of ice, when "stupid" came out of d's mouth. j just looked up at me and P in shock, his mouth a narrow O. But he didn't react at all when d, in response to his mother taking away the stick and accidentally breaking it in the process, said "Mommy, you just broke my f*ckin' stick." The f-word doesn't mean anything to j yet. (I consider this something of a miracle, since the word has been, ahem, occasionally known to come out of my mouth.)

The mother was obviously embarrassed and immediately took d home. This put P and I in some unfamiliar territory. We are accustomed to being the ones worried about j's behavior around strangers, not the other way around. We could tell that the mom was concerned about how her son was perceived the entire time we were there: he kept using the stick as a gun and saying he was going to set things on fire and blow things up, while she kept requesting that he not showcase all of the things he's "not supposed to do." I wanted to comfort her, to say Believe me, really, I've been there; my kid is also a funny and creative guy who behaves in undesirable ways sometimes. I am not judging him, or you. But I didn't know how to do that with just a few words, and saying it would presume I knew how she was feeling. I don't know how to offer that kind of comfort effectively with a stranger.

This got me thinking a bit more. Is it too much to hope that maybe some other moms wanted to comfort me when j was difficult to deal with on the playground? I can't think of any strangers who have done this, but then, how would they have done it in a way that I would have accepted it? I couldn't do it for this mom today. It's much easier for our families, who know and love us, to forgive and to sympathize and not think the worst of us, which in our case, they do. And I am so thankful for this and for them.

I'm working on developing community here and just accepting... well, everything. :)

happy new year 2010

2010 already. This is a picture of j when we were in MI over the holidays. We had a wonderful holiday there and are finally getting things settled in the house so we can be ready for the start of the semester (next week for P, the following week for me). It's been a kind January so far; we've gotten some painting and some purging done, and things aren't terribly crazy yet, so I feel like I've been able to spend some better quality time with the guys. We've started on what I see as a new year's resolution to get more rhythm in this home for j. School--not just what happens there but also going there and back--provides structure, but we wanted some more consistency, so we're doing dinner at the same time (earlier than we had been) and getting some playspaces carved out on the main floor of the house since the basement playroom is pretty cold right now. It will be better in February and March, but now we're all sort of staying up here, only reluctantly and rapidly whizzing downstairs and up, and only when we need to get laundry.

Someone recently told me to make sure I write down these things about j before I forget, which is all too true, I know. When I go through old postings on this blog (now almost four years old), I am amazed by what I had forgotten. So in addition to the rhythm resolution, I'd like to make a resolution to record more.

j's language is improving and his vocabulary is expanding quickly. One thing he's been into lately are "bad words," the biggest of which is "stupid." He's clever, though. If he mistakenly starts to say that something is "stupid," he'll realize his mistake halfway through and say it is instead "stupendous," which he knows is not a bad word. If you say "stupid," he immediately points it out and explains that you have to "go to your room." Other "bad words" are "I don't care" and "I'll eat you up" (thank you, Maurice Sendak).

Though he's going through a stage where he likes to show a "mean face" (scrunched-up mouth and wrinkled nose), he usually does this when he's uncomfortable with a situation, not when he's angry. And the transitions from "mean-faced j" to "uber-polite j" are jarring. The other day, after my mother finshed eating at our house, he said to her, "Maybe I can help you and take your plate to the kitchen. I will do it." And he did. The expectation that she would play Legos with him for an hour probably had a lot to do with the politeness, but in general, he's good with "please" and "thank you," even when he's sobbing because you want him to do something and he doesn't want to do it ("No, thank you; waaahh... no, thank you... [sob]"). My guess is that because these are some of the first words he learned--"please" was shorthand for an entire sentence, like "Give me more pasta"--they've sort of stuck.